PTSD Survivor Daily - Latest Comments

Re: About

Fiona Barnes — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 09:00:28 -0000

"Post Traumatic Growth" That's very cool. Thank you for your service.

Re: Rest in Peace Robin Williams

adrian — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 21:50:32 -0000

Thank you Mikey for this blog post. Addiction and its path towards depression and then suicide becomes more complicated when different anti depression drugs are added in. These drugs are not to be mixed and need to be taken very seriously.

Re: About

Sarah Sloan — Sat, 02 Aug 2014 18:55:26 -0000

I DO understand. If you would like to read my thoughts that i delivered int words,,, plz email me at ssloan1234@outlook.com.

Re: How to watch the Lone Survivor with Combat PTSD

mikeypiro — Thu, 30 Jan 2014 10:22:30 -0000

Thanks Ryan! I will hunt it down. After watching Lone Survivor I am emboldened to watch more. I came out of it in good shape. I will reach out!

Re: How to watch the Lone Survivor with Combat PTSD

Porkin Beans — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 09:49:25 -0000

I didn't want to spoil the end for you.

Re: How to watch the Lone Survivor with Combat PTSD

Porkin Beans — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 09:48:49 -0000

Mike, should you have time, try and watch Max Manus: Man of War (a norwegian film of WWII Nazi occupied Norway) Not many movies can bring me to tears, but the end got me to think of how many good men and women are lost in the struggle to overcome evil and oppression.

Re: How to watch the Lone Survivor with Combat PTSD

Bryan — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 01:04:25 -0000

I hope it goes well. The movie does have a message that maybe is different than all those others you listed. I'm just not sure I needed to see the other stuff to get that message. Like you, I saw the movie to kind of test myself. Unlike you, I don't exactly have formal methods I employ to deal with things; I kind of just brute force wing it. If you need a battle to go with you for before during after, whatever, let me know. Stay warm!

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Bryan — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 01:42:56 -0000

I will call you soon enough. I still owe you some diet Dr. Pepper. Hope all goes well with the film.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Bryan — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 01:40:55 -0000

Eric,
Being unplugged does have its downsides, but unlike some underground rebel city fighting the machines, we are far greater in number and we walk in the wide open just like everyone else. If we all stick together, we can accomplish anything. We've already proved that part numerous times in much more difficult situations. When I was writing my comment, I thought maybe that I came off too strong, but re-reading it, I don't think I came across strong enough. There is nothing wrong with me, or you, or any other person who saw combat. I'm not going to lie and say it's all reconciled with me, but the more I look around, the more I see people just like me doing the same thing, and that's an actually amazing enlightening feeling.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Bryan — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 01:33:01 -0000

I agree. And I don't think anyone knows what the actual cost is, because they think it's free ...

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Eric B — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 21:11:07 -0000

Bryan,
That was pretty powerful.
It's funny that we seem to have two different ways that we have looked at this question. But you know what? On a personal level, I can relate to what you feel as living with eyes wide open.
Having unplugged the Matrix cable has its downsides, and maybe that is what I am having trouble reconciling.
Eric

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Eric B. — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 20:49:24 -0000

Oh I agree! My comments about our warhawk policies are a non-partisan commentary about the fascination our country has with waging wars without political cost.
This is really a national problem rather than a problem emmanating from one party. The motivations may be different (stop nukes, "save the rebels", etc.). But the results are the same. We are eager to, in the words of George Carlin, "bomb brown people".
This is even easier with "surgical" drone strikes.
These facts don't devalue the fidelity, honor and valor that we exhibited in our service. But in an ideal world, wars have a purpose and ultimately, despite the awful things that happen during their conduct, we come out better as a result of those tribulations.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

mikeypiro — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 16:37:14 -0000

Brian, Thanks for writing. I have been in Dublin a lot recently (right before Christmas for two weeks, and last week). I dont keep my phone on when I travel internationally. I have a work phone for that. Anywho, give me a ring again soon.

"This little spot in the world I inhabit has to suffer more of me, because I ain't going anywhere -- because I've still got something to give to this world : more love to give, more strength to acquire, more people to protect. I'm not done." I love that quote. I am glad to see you write it.

Easy stuff at the end: I decided I am going to go see the movie. Couple of weeks from now. I will totally gear up for it. Talk soon.

Mikey

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

mikeypiro — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 16:34:34 -0000

Eric, I have been having many discussions about the severe chasm growing between the military and civilians. I am not sure if our bad decisions about the nature of warfare and how we conduct it are solely a result of one side or the other. It is certain that big cultural changes are coming. I can't say it wasn't worth it. I can't say it was either though.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

mikeypiro — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 16:29:37 -0000

Jay, thanks for joining the discussion. I don't know if the "No" is the default answer to asking these questions. If I ask that question about a car, where morality has no or little influence into the assessment, it is a valid question. The problem is these are murky waters and your perspective and range of view certainly influence the answer. I cannot commit to a No. I can say unequivocally that there is sadness in much of what I explore introspectively. I am unwilling to give a flat no. Nothing about the war was black and white. The same applies now to being a Veteran.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Bryan — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 01:18:10 -0000

Easy stuff first. I have not watched a war film since, well, I went to war, because I really have no interest in seeing any of that, especially if done accurately. I decided that I wanted to see 'Lone Survivor' for no other reason than to see how I would respond to it. Suffice to say, I have reaffirmed my decision to not see any war films in the near future. Don't think I've ever watched a film, ever, where there is complete silence from start to finish. The general public may need more exposure to what the film portrayed, but not me.

But to more serious things. Was it worth it? Yes, it was worth it. Despite the ugliness of war itself, I can say, for myself, and for those I served with, and those back home who understood what was happening, yes, it was worth it. It made me realize what is means to protect, to be loyal, to be firm, to be strong, to have friends, to truly love. I found out more about myself in such a short time than most people take years to realize. You know what? I'm not perfect; I didn't come back unscathed. I'm deeply wounded, but I'm alive -- and that's what's great. This little spot in the world I inhabit has to suffer more of me, because I ain't going anywhere -- because I've still got something to give to this world : more love to give, more strength to acquire, more people to protect. I'm not done.

Was it worth it? I've met people don't even know if their head is screwed on backwards or sideways -- people whose minds are like blank palimpsests being overwritten with whatever was tweeted or shared on Facebook that second, a world where Saddam attacked the twin towers and Qaddafi partied with Bono and Osama is my sister's friend's uncle's cousin, and he used to live in Cold Spring Harbor. So much misinformation is peddled these days; everyone is trying to get you to put stock in their cheap wares; and most of it does nothing to actually exercise this glorious thing some people call a brain. Us? We know what's real; we've seen behind that proverbial curtain. Fucking disgusting, some of it, but we've seen it. Nothing can bring back those who we lost and nothing simple can truly explain the reasons we ever got involved in these wars to begin with. But we are here now, and we are stronger, and more importantly, wiser than before. Some will say we have been weakened by this; that because we have suffered traumatic experiences that we are somehow 'lesser' and are therefore stigmatized by this perceived 'weakness'. Why? Because we hurt? Because we bleed? Because we care? I absolutely, unequivocally, love the fact that war has made me feel what mortality tastes like. I love that I am alive, and I love that I am unapologetically human, and if I do nothing else consequential with my life, I am going to show everyone that. Yeah, it was worth it. Just like when I try to sleep at night, I also look the same way at the world. Eyes wide open Mikey. Eyes wide open. I hope you find your peace. I'm still looking for mine. Even if we don't find it, it'll all have been worth it.

p.s. I tried to call you somewhat recently, but couldn't reach you.

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Eric B — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 20:25:07 -0000

Oh and as a post-script... I saw "Restrepo" three years ago and it screwed with me for days afterwards...

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Eric B. — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 20:14:29 -0000

Mike,
I was at Fallujah in November 2004 when we 'liberated' it from the murderous thugs that took the city over. Despite being in some of the heaviest fighting, my battalion, miraculously, only lost two men (SPC Shields and SPC Velez) in the fray. If memory serves, we lost about twenty Soldiers and over eighty Marines in that one operation.
A little over a year later, SPC Velez's brother died in Afghanistan.
After almost 13 years of continuous warfare across three continents, I still don't know if any of this has been "worth it'. Despite 'equality' being gained for some, we are collectively less free. We've destroyed our international credibility, our political system and our economy... and we have a nation that is itching for another chance to prove that 'Murica is the "greatest nation on earth".

I would be happier if the dollar wasn't devalues because of reckless wars and feckless domestic policies. I would be happier if American's gave a damn about waging war. I would be happier if we didn't continue to cloak our jingoism in false patriotism. I would be happier if terrorism wasn't an excuse to erode civil liberties.
Was it worth it? I look at the few gains we've made versus the monumental losses. Personally, I AM getting tired of people saying that "I pay taxes, so that means my opinon matters as much as a vet's..." While I get the point, I still have to call bullshit. 99% of the people who make that statement are unwilling to risk ANYTHING for their hollow convictions. Your passive act of obedience does not compare to the active act of sacrifice that some are willing to make on your behalf. I pay my taxes AND I am willing to sacrifice in the name of common defense. If those same folks were willing to be arrested at anti-war protests, then I think I could accord them the respect they wrongfully demand.
Our willingness to sacrfice was misused, abused, and now, simultaneously pandered to and ignored. It's insulting, and I don't know that I have it in me to finish out my 20.
Although I can say that I at least stand for "something", I am doubt that this "something" we chase will ever exist.
Thanks for saying what many of us feel, Mikey.
Eric

Re: The Lone Survivor, The Worth of Fallujah and PTSD

Jay Kirell — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 16:49:30 -0000

I think "was it worth it?" is the absolute worst question you can ask about a war. Nobody can tell someone who believes it was that it wasn't, and nobody can convince someone who believes it wasn't that it was. That is, if you can find two people who can agree what "worth" even means.
Personally, I'm of the idea that if you even have to ask "was it worth it" that should tell you all you need to know about whether it was or not.

Re: How many with PTSD did we leave behind?

Bryan — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 20:46:29 -0000

"War does not determine who is right -- only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

Hope all is well.

Re: The burden of the Family and PTSD

awifewhounderstands — Sun, 05 Jan 2014 13:48:02 -0000

I just started reading your posts and wanted to thank you. I have suspected my husband has had PTSD and possibly bipolar disorder for some time now since his return from Afghanistan. His mostly manifests in angry outbursts and periods of crying behind a locked door/blackouts/ infidelity/guilt/overspending. Things that were completely out of his character before he left. I have tried hard to get him help but the Army has not made it easy. At his last duty station I succeeded in acheiving help when he had a run in with a VA counselor who recognized his symptoms. However shortly therafter he pcs'ed to a new environment where there was no one who knew him and no accountability. I know he also has to want help and if I force it I will essentially end the relationship.We live in separate states now due to financial reasons (after his last spending spree that I bailed us out of, I was too scared to give up my job/retirement knowing we were retiring in 3 years) I love my husband and do not want to divorce him at this point I am just scared for him and the path he is on I am scared for our daughter. One of his co-workers was given an article 13 for seeking mental help against a commander's orders. So he has written off seeking any help. He is an instructor now and recently on an eval a cadet suggested he get help for ptsd/bipolar disorder do to his mood changes and tendency to forget and anger over it. His 1sgt called him in showed him the evaluation and they both laughed it off. I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle and have no idea where to begin helping him. I feel like either way I stand to lose everything. At least by reading your posts I can understand that I am not as alone in the world as I thought and for that I am most greatful

Re: SGT Jacob Simpson

mikeypiro — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 13:06:01 -0000

John, thank you for remembering those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I would be honored if you would link to the memorial for SGT Simpson. Also, if your nephew ever wants to chat or talk I am available. He is not alone. Thank you again. Sincerely, Mikey

Re: The VA Still Lobotomizes Veterans with PTSD

mikeypiro — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 13:04:46 -0000

Juliza,

Thank you for the candid feedback. I am truly a fan of therapy. I know it is an uphill battle to first get a Veteran in, and then not scare them away with discussion of side effects of drugs. Also, it is almost unexplainable unless you have experienced the truly difficult soul searching sessions that CBT and Prolonged Exposure bring to bear. You have a tough job. I wish I could convey face to face how hard sessions are, but how effective and wonderful the effects of treatment are too.

Thank you for continuing to fight for us and Happy New Year!

Sincerely,

Mikey

Re: SGT Jacob Simpson

John — Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:51:28 -0000

I have been posting (on Facebook) the names of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice out of respect for their sacrifice. So many people know the names of famous people, yet we don't even know the names of those who give their lives. I came across this post while searching for a picture of the fallen soldier memorial. I would like to post SGT Simpson's name along with a link to this post with your permission. Thank you for your sacrifice as well. I have a nephew who was just diagnosed with PTSD and hope that maybe your blog can help him on his journey as well. God bless you.

Re: The VA Still Lobotomizes Veterans with PTSD

Juliza Ramirez-Wylie — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 08:19:10 -0000

Mikey, thanks for sharing your experience and perspective on the use of medicine to treat PTSD and other post-trauma disorders. There is significant amount of research that supports the positive effects of therapy to treat PTSD. Specifically Prolonged Exposure and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or its military counterpart (Cognitive Processing Therapy [CPT]). Some times, especially at the start of the symptoms, individuals will drop out of therapy. In which case, therapy no longer serves as an effective treatment for PTSD or any other disorder. There in lies the challenge for many. And perhaps, that is when medicine can be most helpful to mediate the negative effects of symptoms long enough for the individual to withstand the uncomfort of therapy. In your case, it really seems like you have a supportive family that is willing to stand by you during the transition out of pharmacotherapy (medicine) to counseling therapy. You are fortunate - and we are all fortunate to have someone like you share your experiences. For some veterans, that do not feel like they have positive social support, coming off medicine to deal with the uncomfort/pain of therapy, may simply be too much of a task to handle alone. Social support groups (group therapy) can be so helpful - if we as veterans, find one that we feel comfortable in. Thanks for advocating for an effective treatment solutions to PTSD and its co-occurring cousin disorders (depression, anxiety, substance abuse etc.). And again, thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences.